


You're Gonna Be Okay

by Zoe13



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 21:13:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2403086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoe13/pseuds/Zoe13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke sees a cut on Michael's arm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Gonna Be Okay

Luke doesn't understand. He can't comprehend what he's seeing and he doesn't want to.

But he has to, because that's definitely a cut on Michael's wrist where his sleeve is riding up and it's straight and clean and there's another by it. He sees the edge of yet another and then Michael pulls his sleeve down.

Luke feels sick. He's seen Michael do that a million times, pull his sleeve down, but he thought it was just a habit. Not a- a way to hide something.

They're in the middle of an interview, their last for a few weeks, and Luke suddenly can't answer questions, can't comprehend what he's being asked because _there's something about Michael that he didn't know and he doesn't like it._ There's a whole crowd in front of them and some of them are giving Luke odd looks but he doesn't care. Devastated is what he feels, the only way to describe _how_ he feels.

The worst part of it all is how Michael is currently acting. He's perched on the couch with his hands in his lap, his head cocked cutely to the side and a wide smile on his face. Words are spilling out of him, humorous ones, but now all Luke can hear is a cry for help.

They need to have a long talk that's very overdue. 

* * *

 

He waits until they're back at their house. Ashton and Calum are in the kitchen, but Michael's upstairs and Luke's trying really hard not to think about what he's doing.

"Something's really wrong with Michael," he says softly. Their eyes widen and they turn to him.

"What happened?" Calum asks quietly but urgently.

Luke swallows. "Before I tell you, you have to promise to leave for a bit so I can talk to Michael alone. I think only one of us should confront him at first."

"Yeah, okay," Ashton agrees, looking nervous, and Calum nods.

"You know how Michael has that weird habit of always tugging his sleeves down?" Luke asks.

"Yeah; I never figured that one out," Calum says.

"I figured it out," Luke chokes. His eyes fill with tears for a moment and Calum and Ashton are looking more and more anxious by the second. "His sleeve came up during- during the interview. He, um- he had these cuts..."

Then the tears flood out and Ashton wraps his arms around Luke, the stricken look on his face matching Calum's. 

"Oh my god," Calum says quietly. "How did we not see this?"

"It's recent," Ashton says, still holding Luke while he cries. "He only started doing the sleeve thing a few weeks ago."

Luke cries harder at the word 'weeks' and Calum wraps his arms around both him and Ashton.

"Are you sure you want to talk to him, Lukey? Ash or I can do it."

"I need to," Luke sniffles. "I have some things to tell him."

He pulls away and dries his face, breathing deeply in an attempt to calm himself.

"Are you alright to do it now, then?" Ashton asks. Luke nods. "Okay. Cal and I will go out somewhere. Call or text us if you need anything. We'll be back in a while."

They both hug Luke once more before leaving the house. Luke watches them go through the window and sees Ashton break down on the sidewalk, hiding his face in Calum's shoulder. He feels like crying again. 

The walk upstairs feels like it takes forever, but it's over too soon. He knocks on Michael's door with bated breath.

"Just a second!" Michael calls out, sounding cheery, and Luke almost breaks down in front of the door.

The door swings open and Michael pokes his head around it. He smiles at Luke but it quickly fades to concern when he sees Luke's face.

"Oh my god, Luke, what happened?" he asks worriedly. He gently pulls Luke into the room and shuts the door, leading him to his bed and sitting down next to him. 

Luke doesn't know what to say, so he reaches for Michael's arm. Michael pulls away and Luke leans forward.

"Luke, what are you doing? What's wrong?" Michael asks. A tear slides down Luke's cheek.

"Show me your arm," he whispers, and Michael freezes.

"No. Luke, you're acting really odd. What's wrong?"

"Show me your arm," Luke says again, and Michael moves away, standing up and hugging himself as if to hide his arms from side. 

"No," he says, sounding desperate. "What are you doing?"

" _Michael_ ," Luke says, and it comes out like a bit of a growl. He doesn't care, though. He stands and approaches Michael, but the boy just backs away until he hits the wall. Luke reaches for his arm.

"Luke, no! What are you doing?" Michael cries, turning away. Luke feels a bit sick, but he has to see. Michael will just keep pretending to be okay if he doesn't. 

"Michael, just let me see."

"No! You- you can't- you won't want to!"

Luke pins him as grabs his arm, pulling it away from his body. Michael turns his face away and a tear slips down his cheek.

"Michael," Luke says gently, "I'm just worried."

Then he pulls up Michael's sleeve. He stares, his eyes blurring until he can't read the words and lines carved into Michael's arm. 

" _Luke_ ," Michael gasps out, and he's shaking, crying. Luke lets his head fall forward until it's resting on Michael's shoulder.

"I love you," he says suddenly, desperately. Michael tenses up. Luke doesn't care anymore about being scared. He turns and presses a kiss to Michael's neck, then another. He moves upward, kissing his jaw, his cheek.

Then their lips meet. Luke throws himself into the kiss, fiery and desperate, and Michael whimpers against him, tangling his fingers into Luke's blonde hair. Luke licks hot into his mouth, still pushing like he's searching for something, and Michael clings to him. It's not a competition, Michael's giving and Luke's taking because he knows Michael needs it, needs to surrender control for a moment.

Michael whimpers again when Luke finally pulls away and Luke reattaches his lips to his neck, clinging to Michael and pressing hot kisses to his skin.

"I love you," he says again. "I love you so much."

" _Luke_ ," Michael says, and it's needy. 

"Why did you do this?" Luke asks. Michael slumps against him, still pinned between Luke and the wall.

"I love you too," he says, "and I thought I shouldn't."

"You should," Luke tells him firmly. "I need you to."

"I still don't understand," Michael says, gasping a bit as Luke nips his neck.

"What don't you understand?" Luke asks, reaching down and taking Michael's hand again.

"Why you- you love me," Michael says, a blush fanning over his cheeks. He's beautiful and Luke's heart hurts. "Why you would want someone like me."

Luke pulls back to stare him in the eyes. "Someone like you? What do you mean?" 

"I don't deserve you," Michael says softly, and Luke feels as if he's been slapped.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard," Luke says, and he's angry, but not at Michael. "Who made you feel like that? Who made you think that?" 

"All these people have thought we were together and they- they're upset, but not at you. They think I'm..." Michael falters.

"What?"

"They call me...things."

"Like this?" Luke asks, and he holds up Michael's scarred arm. There are multiple words written in his skin. The biggest is _worthless_ , and Luke can't stand to look at it as tears blur his vision again.

"Yes," Michael says, his voice barely a whisper.

"Mikey, you shouldn't get on twitter or anything. People on the internet-"

"It's not just on the internet. It's at concerts and meet and greets and even in crowds trying to get into buildings. It's- it's everywhere."

Luke sees red for a moment. How _dare_ anyone say or even think anything like that about Michael? How _could_ they?

"It hurts the worst when they tell me that you'll never love me. It's like everyone can see that I love you and they say I don't deserve you."

Michael's crying again and Luke doesn't trust his voice. He wraps his arms around Michael and cries too, hugging him tightly.

"I love you, I _love_ you," he says. "They don't know what they're talking about. I love you so fucking much and I always will. And there is _nothing_ about you that I want to change except how you feel about yourself."

"I'm sorry," Michael chokes through tears, and Luke sits them down and leans against the wall, stroking Michael's cheek.

"No, no, no. None of this is your fault. _None_ of it."

Michael grabs his hand and laces their fingers together tightly, pressing a kiss to Luke's upper arm.

"Thank you," he says softly.

"You're gonna be okay," Luke says. "I'll make sure of it."

They hear the front door and Michael's grip tightens.

"Do we have to tell them?"

"They deserve to know, don't they?" Luke asks, and Michael sighs.

"Okay."

"We don't have to tell them about us."

"No, I- I want to. But- what are we?" Michael sounds a little scared.

"I was hoping that maybe you would be my boyfriend," Luke says. "But we can be whatever you want."

"Tha- that sounds perfect," Michael says, and he's smiling, so Luke feels a bit of relief.

"Come on then," he says, pulling Michael to his feet. He presses in last kiss to his lips and then takes his hand. "Let's go."

Michael's looking at him like he needs him more than anything, but it's okay because Luke needs him too.


End file.
